Monday 18 March 2024

The potters wheel

A few weeks ago I did a pottery wheel taster class at a small studio in the Jewellery Quarter. 

I learned quite a lot, including that using a pottery wheel is, I would say, harder than it looks (and I'm not sure it looks particularly easy anyway!)

My first attempt was fairly disastrous and by the end of the workshop, my finished bowl was very far from perfect.

But it really didn't matter. The end result wasn't the point.

I know that being creative is, for me, a really valuable way to relax and I enjoyed turning my hand to something different. I loved the feel of the clay between my fingers, and the process of creating something with my own hands.

I would definitely do it again.

I was recently able to pick up my bowl which, in the interim had been glazed and fired. And even if it was always more about the process than the product, I am, actually, really happy with how it has turned out!

Friday 15 March 2024

Sometimes we belong

At the Northern Leg reunion, back in the autumn, the theme we agreed to explore through our liturgy this year was something to do with what it means to belong, or not belong, and the comfort, and challenge of how we feel about inclusion and exclusion, our own, and that of others.

In preparation for the week itself, throughout Lent, I have been sharing some reflections helping me (and hopefully others) consider what it means to belong (or not to) for ourselves and for those in the world around us. Whether or not any of the words I have written have spoken to anyone else, I have very much enjoyed the reflective and writing process. And for what it is worth, I am sharing them here too.

Week 1
I invite you to think about the communities / places where you "belong" and that sense of belonging is something you value; and the communities / places you "belong" but about which belonging you feel slightly uncomfortable.

Week 2
I invite you to think about the communities / places where you feel you "do not belong", whether that is by your choice, or by other people’s. I invite you to think about the times and places and ways which feels challenging, those that feel freeing, and those that uncomfortably straddle the two.

Week 3
Reflecting on our own experiences of inclusion / exclusion is important, but so is looking beyond our own experiences to those of others. I invite you to think about who our society excludes, perhaps digging a little deeper, beyond those who immediately spring to mind. I invite you, if you dare, to allow yourself to reflect honestly on who you personally, consciously or subconsciously, struggle to include.

Week 4

I invite you to reflect on how we can create communities of meaningful inclusion for those who are excluded, marginalised and on the edges, of our communities and societies. Is tolerance enough? Is integration to be encouraged? What does it mean to be truly inclusive? What does it take for everyone to be able to say "I belong"?

Week 5
You may have seen this poem before: it is the only one of this series not written specifically this Lent. I wrote it a few years ago and it has been posted on my blog previously as both a text and a spoken / video version, but it seemed fitting to share it as part of this series. 
I invited Northern Leg to reflect on the ways in which we feel we belong to this little community, and the role we each have to play in helping others feel they belong too: but I guess the same process of reflection could equally apply to any of the other communities to which we feel we belong. 

And that's it, because next Friday we will be wending our way to meet in person and the reflections and ponderings will move from the virtual world to the real one. 

There may be further reflections on the theme to follow here post-pilgrimage. Or then again, there may not. Watch this space. 

Wednesday 13 March 2024

The end of a saga

This week I finally received a refund cheque from the company who supplied the energy to the flat where I lived prior to moving here.

It is fifteen months since I moved out. I have been waiting for it for longer than I lived there.

The irony is, that the previous property had a prepayment meter.

As a general rule, those on prepayment meters pay more for their energy, even though it is generally the poorest who are more likely to have to use them: it is one of many examples of the poor being penalised for their poverty (although I am certainly not saying that applies to me.) 

As far as I was concerned, I was paying for my energy up front and, when I moved out, there was nothing more to be done. But, it turns out, these prepayment meters work, at least partially, on estimates, and you are supposed to submit a final meter reading when you move on. I didn't, because it never occurred to me I'd have to. So they estimated my final reading. By this point new tenants had moved into the flat, and there was no way of knowing the actual final reading. Perhaps predictably, they estimated my final usage as higher than what I had paid for. I suspect the estimate was wrong ... I am a very cautious user of energy for both cost and environmental reasons. I was irritated, and argued, but ultimately accepted.

I made the payment by phone. The system glitched, and they thought the payment hadn't gone through so tried again, assuring me that if it was taken twice it would be automatically refunded. It wasn't, and there in began the saga of trying to get it back.

Maybe they assumed I wouldn't even notice the duplicate payment and make the first phone call to ask for it back. Maybe they then assumed I'd soon give up and go away. But I have a bloody-minded streak and I was not going to give up easily.

I didn't really fight this just on the basis of being stubborn though.

I fought it because on the basis of their environmental record and of their obscene profit margins I don't want to be giving energy companies a penny more than I have to.

I fought it because I knew that had it been the other way round and I had owed them money for over a year, they wouldn't have given up pursuing me: I'd possibly have had my power cut off and more than likely ended up with a court summons.

I fought it because although for me it wasn't a huge amount of money and given my level of income and privilege, living without it for the past year and a bit has been, frankly, neither here nor there; that wouldn't have been true if I was struggling to get by on a limited income, and therefore wouldn't be true for plenty of other people. 

I fought it because I can, and because I know that many people finding themselves in the same situation wouldn't be able to. My level of English and level of education gives me the skills and the confidence to know how to fight for what I am entitled to (and I can't deny a certain pleasure in writing a well-crafted complaint!). My level of privilege means I am not constantly living in survival mode so I had the capacity and mental energy to take them on.  

Obviously I'm not naive enough the think that me getting my money back means they're suddenly going to start checking their records and ensuring they refund everyone who is owed money. Maybe it won't help anyone else at all, but it became a point of principle. 

I know in the grand scheme of things, this was a tiny insignificant issue, but it is also indicative of how systems and institutions, and those with power and privilege, can so easily exploit and abuse those they see as beneath them. 

Today, finally, I have that cheque. I am lucky enough not to actually need it and will be donating it to a charity that helps people cope with fuel poverty so hopefully it can do a tiny amount of good for someone who needs it more.

Friday 1 March 2024

No go areas

 Earlier this week, not for the first time, an MP said that there are "no-go areas" in Birmingham. He was, rightly, quickly condemned for the implicit racism in his comments.

But, coupled with another conversation I happened to have around the same time as my twitter feed was filled with that, I did start thinking a little more deeply.

I may not use the same language of "no go areas" but I am often having conversations with people about how we can open up access to spaces which can feel off-limits. I freely acknowledge there are spaces in Birmingham from which certain groups feel excluded. They are not the same places that Paul Scully is referring to, but for a lot of those I work with, there are all sorts of places which I can walk into and resources I can access that they almost certainly wouldn't. Places where work needs to be done if we are to reduce or remove the barriers which stop people crossing the thresholds. Some of those barriers are practical and financial, but there is more to it than that. It is about places where different people aren't sure whether they will feel safe, or feel welcome, where they don't know whether they really belong. A line which has always stuck with me since I first heard it (and I can't accredit because I don't know whose quote it is originally is: "You might say your door is open, but what does your door look like?" If we are truly going to build a city with no "no go areas" we need to look at our doors.

The Stories group have been made incredibly welcome by the REP Theatre in Birmingham who were relatively recently awarded Theatre of Sanctuary status. At the award giving, one of the Stories group participants spoke about her experience of how this was a place she never felt 'someone like her' would be welcome, that she would never have dared to walk through those somewhat imposing doors, but where she now felt welcomed and included. For her, this once "no go area" has become a place where she feels part of its story, but I am not naive: I know there are all sorts of cultural institutions and other spaces where she (and others like her) don't feel they belong. 

When I was a newly qualified teacher (Dewsbury, not Birmingham, but the point still stands) I remember having a conversation with a very bright seven year old and mentioning university. I still remember the jolt it gave me when he told me that university wasn't for people like him. Higher education was, at least at that point, a "no go area" for him. I don't know the rest of the story, but whether or not he chose to study at university, I hope that conversations and experiences in the interim taught him it was at least an option. 

If Paul Scully feels the same about certain parts of this city, that's very sad. I have far less sympathy for him: I think those of us with power and privilege bear more of the responsibility for making our own way out of our comfort zones, and the energy we put into removing barriers needs to focus on the most excluded and most vulnerable; but perhaps, being charitable, the same principle applies. 

It isn't the only piece in the jigsaw of how we create accessible spaces, but by far the most successful way I have found of helping people cross boundaries into "no go areas" is to go there with them. To hold their hand, literally or metaphorically, as we walk through doors they thought were closed to them. 

If somewhere feels scary or off-limits, the solution isn't just condemnation, or even just telling someone they can cross that boundary: it is to take people by the hand and enable them to walk across the street, across the postcode boundary, through the door, over the threshold. 

On the other side, they might just find they were welcome and safe after all. 

Saturday 17 February 2024

What does the cross mean to you?

I was asked recently (actually, not very recently, I started writing this ages ago, but it's Lent so perhaps now is a reasonable moment to drag it back out and try and make it vaguely coherent): "What does the cross mean to you?"

The question came from someone who thinks deeply about life, someone who grapples with faith and doubt, someone who is constantly seeking meaningful answers about our human existence. It also came when they were going through an exceptionally dark time in their life. For all these reasons, it mattered how I answered. In the space of a few seconds I wanted to come up with an answer that was both honest and helpful. Who knows whether what I said, to a degree, was (I can't even actually remember what I said); but it also prompted me, as these kinds of questions sometimes do, to write a longer, more considered response here.

To be honest, despite being the central tenet and symbol of the Christian faith, the cross is not an image that is the foremost part of my faith: there are other parts of the Jesus story that resonate with me more, other images of God which are more significant in my understanding of God's identity. Around the same time as the aforementioned conversation, in the church's lectionary was the gospel that includes Jesus asking his disciples "Who do you say I am?" to which Peter answers "you are the Messiah, the son of the living God". It is a question, "Who do you say I am?", what is the fullness of the identity of God?, that we used to regularly reflect on in our prayers at Carrs Lane and that I have explored in other ways, times and places too. "You are the Crucified / the God of the Cross" is only one facet of my very multi-faceted answer. 

I think it is partly because I have been fortunate enough to never have experienced real, deep suffering. I fully appreciate that there are people who need this image of the cross more than I ever have, to need this God who suffers alongside, this image of com-passion. 

I think it is also partly because of how much of the theology of the cross I have heard explicitly or implicitly taught which makes me feel deeply uncomfortable and doesn't sit easily with what I believe about God. The cross I believe in, and the theology that accompanies it, is not reflected in much of what I hear or see preached or practiced in the church. I often feel the need to premise what the cross means to me by first ruling out all the things it doesn't: I don't believe the cross was a punishment, substitutionary or otherwise, any more than I believe the suffering endured by millions around the world and down through history is a punishment. I don't believe God willed Jesus' suffering, any more than I believe God wills ours; I don't believe God / Jesus sought out suffering for its own sake any more that I believe we are called to do so when we are called to "take up our cross".   

With that preamble aside, the cross does still have a place in my understanding of God: certainly the answer to the question isn't "nothing", even if it isn't always the part of my faith which is front and centre, and even if it isn't something easily expressed or explained. Like all words and images, anything I can say in answer to this question will, I know, fall short of encapsulating the incomprehensible mystery that I call God. At some point I have to stop trying to wrestle the uncontainable into words that will hold it, release those words to the world, and hope it sort of says some of what I want it to.

For me, the cross is primarily a symbol of the depths of love of which God is capable and of which we are called towards: not because suffering is ever willed or wished for by love but because it is the unintended consequence of great love. 

We suffer because of who and what and how we love. 

The cross is not about seeking suffering for its own sake, it is about loving to the point of being willing to suffer with or for those we love. And I believe we are called to this great love, which will inevitably hold within it great suffering. I believe this is what it means to go to the cross: to love so deeply, so fully, so completely that we will experience the grief and suffering of ourselves.  

The whole incarnation story: birth, life and death reminds us that, however much we dress it up in theological language and fancy images, God's love for humanity isn't something theoretical and ephemeral. It is deeply real. The reality of that love doesn't start or end with the incarnation of God in human form: it is eternally true, but our little human brains struggle to grasp it. We still struggle, even when it is turned into a deeply human story, but it offers a glimpse we can perhaps begin to try and understand. The incarnation story, and inherent within it the story of the cross, makes visible God's love for humanity. In the incarnation God says "I love you so much I want to be you". On the cross God reminds us "I love you so much that this pain which you inflict on one another, you inflict it on me." The cross is a symbol that while suffering is not willed or wished for by love, it is an unintended consequence of both great love and of its absence. God feels the pain of the cross because of his deep love for the humanity that inflicted it and on whom it is inflicted.

Jesus died on the cross because something: political power, religious bigotry, a desire for order, ignorance, herd mentality, fear .... or all of the above, veiled the possibility of the love that would have prevented it. It stands as a reminder of how often the same continues to be true in the deeply broken world in which we live. It is a symbol of the depths of evil of which humanity is capable when we turn our backs on love. But it also makes visible how much that hurts. Far worse is the bland indifference to suffering. The things which should hurt but don't because we have lost sight of the relationships, the connections that would make us weep for the pain we witness. The cross is our reminder that God is never indifferent to humanity's pain.

If we believe in a trinitarian God in which the fullness of God is present in all three persons, an incredibly complex thing is happening on the cross which reveals something of God's, and our, identity. God is simultaneously both experiencing the physical pain of dying and the emotional torment of watching the one he loves die. As God both dies and watches the one he loves die, helpless, or choosing to be helpless to intervene, the cross bears witness to the suffering both of our own pain, and watching the pain of another we love. It reminds us that God's com-passion is deeply present in our experiences of both.

When Jesus cries out "My God, my God why have you forsaken me" he calls out both from and to his own deepest self: he expresses a sense of abandonment even by his own essence and being. Perhaps those who have experienced intense physical pain or emotional torment can understand that more than I can. When he later says "into your hands I commend my spirit" there is a sense in the coming back to God of the coming back to self: a reminder that when we find ourselves, deep within we find the essence of God. It also offers up a mystery we perhaps know to be true even if it one we can never understand: that even though our deepest suffering is the consequence of how deeply we love, the response to suffering isn't to close off to that love but to open up to it even more. That even from the depths of a suffering that we only feel because we have loved deeply, we still have the capacity to trust in love. 

For me, then, more than being a symbol of hate, suffering and death... and I acknowledge it is all three, the cross is an inspiration for life, a witness to why life is worth living. Not because of the resurrection, but in and of itself. This love which is the root of suffering is also the same love which enriches our human experience. The cross stands as witness that love is present and love is possible. That we can hold the other close enough that we will suffer with and for them, and that it will hurt, but it will be worth it.

Saturday 10 February 2024

Not a Christmas Poem

As I said in this post, I have written a Christmas poem every year for many, many years. And then there was this year, when I didn't. I made a conscious decision, relatively successfully, not to be frustrated by it, but that doesn't mean I haven't given any thought to the matter. .

The last poem I wrote (excluding those I have facilitated / collaborated on with Stories of Hope and Home) was the previous year's Christmas poem, published just a few days into 2023, so this is not a recent problem. The odd line or phrase or vague idea has flitted through my mind at intervals, but whether due to a lack of inspiration, or head / diary space, or discipline or all of the above, they went no further. Some made it on to scraps of paper (or the digital equivalent) others not even that.

There has also been very little art recently either, nor in fact most things that feel like they would have needed any degree of creativity. I signed up for a course of writing prompts through advent with the aim of trying to recapture some creative energy ... and failed to complete a single one. After a while, I stopped even opening the emails.

Some of this is about actual, objective, busy-ness. I do not regret the time and energy I pour into my work (although I do wish there weren't quite so many emails!). I put much of my energy into sustaining relationships that matter to me, however imperfectly. I have turned a house into a home. I have juggled many different balls: I have let some of them drop, caught some by the tips of my fingers, but kept many of them in the air.

But I am not naïve. I know this is not really, or not only, about objective busy-ness. If that was all, I could waste less time on social media and pick up a pen or paintbrush instead. I know this is also about the energy it takes to wrestle with the right ways to respond to a society and world that is on a collision course with destruction. I know it is also about watching people I care about struggle and suffer and choosing to use my energy to try and walk alongside them. I know it is also that there are no words or colours to easily capture much of what I see around me.

Beating myself up for not being creative isn't going to solve any of that, but I do believe that finding little spaces where I can find a creative spark is also part of the solution. So a couple of Sundays ago, I carved out some time. I attended a Writers HQ writing retreat, set myself a goal of "having something on a page" and spent the day doing just that. It was fairly self-indulgent, and weirdly tiring, but very satisfying.

There were glimmers of ideas, at least some of which might turn into something. Some might not, and that's ok. In the midst of the "something on a page" there was the beginnings of a poem, about there not being a poem. A couple of weeks on, it is ready to be shared.

There was no poem this Christmas
No rhymes
To neatly capture
The sentiments of the season
No words
To celebrate
The word made flesh

There was no poem this Christmas
No rhymes
To neatly capture
The suffering and the struggle
No words
To adequately witness
To other people’s pain
No rhymes
To break through
the overwhelming tide of tasks
No words
To somehow sum up
The chaos and the conflict,
The brokenness of our world

There were just empty pages
Resolutely blank

There was no poem this Christmas
No rhymes
To neatly capture
The families and the friendships
No words
To adequately witness
To the sparkling of the lights
No rhymes
To break through
The ebb and flow of conversation
No words
To somehow sum up
The chaos and the community
The rebuilding of our world

There were just empty pages
Resolutely blank

There was no poem this Christmas
No rhymes,
No words.

But the Word was present
And made flesh

As well as empty pages
There was God
Resolutely alive.

Tuesday 9 January 2024

Bless this house

A few years ago I was introduced to the Epiphany tradition of house blessing. I can't remember who it was I heard about it from, but I remember we did it a couple of times towards the end of our time at Carrs Lane.

For those unfamiliar with the idea, you mark the threshold to your home with numbers representing the year in question and the letters CMB, which are the initials of the names which legend has given to the Magi who visited Jesus: Caspar, Melchior, Balthazar; but also the initials of  the Latin phrase: Christus Mansionem Benedicat.

In both 2022 and 2023, Epiphany arrived at a point when I had relatively recently moved into a new home. The tradition of blessing the space, felt particularly pertinent in a particular way. A gesture of dedicating the space I was going to make my own, to being a space in which I, and others might feel blessed and beloved of God. 

This year the context is a little bit different. I have been here for a year, have made this space feel like a home and already made many happy memories with many different people. For myself, and I hope for others, it has already been a place of blessing. There was, this time a looking back in thanksgiving as well as looking ahead in hope. And there was a heartfelt prayer that this space might continue to be a blessing for myself and for all who cross its threshold. 

There are all sorts of versions of the prayers and blessings that can be used but the common thread which runs through many of them is about Christ being present in the offering of welcome and hospitality. The blessing is not of the bricks and mortar as such, but of the spaces within. The spaces where encounter is possible, where memories are made, where safety is found, where refreshment is offered, where tears and laughter are accepted, where love is shared. 

I feel incredibly privileged to have a safe and comfortable home where I am very happy. I feel that comes with a level of responsibility to make good use of it. Rededicating it, as the new year begins, to being a place of refuge and welcome, of peace and of joy, for myself and for others, feels like no bad thing. 

Friday 5 January 2024

Twelve days

Several days ago, someone said to me that they thought it was "too late to say Merry Christmas" ... I, on the other hand, while I don't tend to get into the Christmas spirit too far in advance of the day itself, do like to fully embrace the concept of Christmas as a whole season which only gets started on the 25th. I don't think I have done a bad job of making the most of the twelve days, and I know I am incredibly privileged to have shared it with so many wonderful people! 

On the first day of Christmas...

Although actually, I feel the 24th needs inclusion too, which was when the Christmas festivities really began because otherwise I don't get to mention crying literal happy tears over hearing someone had just got their refugee status; or a really fun evening of Karaoke classics, a late night with friends, and a sleepover. 

Christmas day started early because as both sleepovers and Christmas are very exciting the children were awake predictably, (but not unreasonably), early. I was right to think I wouldn't need to set an alarm to get the turkey in on time or get to church. After church it was all hands on deck for dinner prep and if some of the "help" wasn't entirely helpful, it was a fun communal activity! The rest of the day consisted of dinner and the accompanying conversation gathered round the table, the excitement of gift-giving and opening, plenty of music and games, and even some painting in the evening.

We weren't quite as big as a crowd as I'd initially anticipated, but my heart was full as I shared the day with some of the people who really matter to me. Christmas is often talked about as a time to share with family: and I feel incredibly blessed to count all these wonderful different people from different places as part of mine! 

On the second day of Christmas...

By late morning, my guests had dispersed and the house was suddenly very quiet. I was torn, at that point, between going out to make the most of what was left of the few hours of daylight or having a nap. The nap won! And then there was a substantial amount of tidying and reorganised which filled up much of the rest of a very laid back sort of a day. 

On the third day of Christmas...

It was the Stories of Hope and Home Christmas party day and, aware that even some of those who have been in the UK for really quite a long time would never have shared in many of our British Christmas traditions, I somehow got it into my head that it might be nice to have Christmas dinner ... for a large, and largely unpredictable, number of people. As being considered completely mad is never something I have shied away from, I ran with it and, if I do say so myself, it was a wonderful success. I spent all morning preparing: I don't regret it for a moment. 

The house was full of a wonderful combination of people which brought together old friends, including those who hadn't been around for a while, and newer group members. There were conversations and laughter and community. There was news being shared, friendships renewed, new acquaintances established. At the height of the festivities I counted 28 people (although 8 of them were quite small!) squashed into my house, which probably isn't really big enough for that many people but it really didn't matter. It was loud, chaotic and messy.... and utterly beautiful. 

On the fourth day of Christmas...

It was the first of our Birch Holiday Club days. Lots of activities shut down during this holiday, understandably so, but as we had the option to do so we were keen to go ahead with something for the families we work with: it is even harder during school holidays to be cooped up in a hotel room than it is the rest of the time. 

The weather being particularly grim probably accounted for fewer people coming out than we might have expected but there were still enough people to fill the hall with laughter and fun. It was a day where I was once again struck by the juxtaposition of joy and struggle. In the midst of giving out chocolate lollypops and watching children learn to hula hoops and trying to gently ensure there were no major arguments about exactly which children would hold my hands or sit next to me on the bus, there were conversations about, among other things, homelessness and home office interviews and the accompanying distress. There was laughter, and there were tears: and there were hugs for both. 

After dropping the families back to the hotel, I met a friend for a cup of tea, feeling only slightly self-conscious about still being dressed as an elf! I love the big gatherings with lots of noise and lots of people but I really appreciate these opportunities for more focused one to one time and the chance for deeper, more meaningful conversations.

On the fifth day of Christmas

I spent a chunk of the morning planting spring bulbs into my garden. Having cleared (with a lot of help, I definitely can't take most of the credit) the very overgrown garden I arrived to, the much more fun part of planting things could begin. I bought these bulbs a couple of months ago, back at that point in time when you are supposed to plant them but, you know, life, busy-ness etc. Having read something that said you can still plant them up until December, I got them in with a day to spare! Now it's a waiting game to see if it was in fact, too late, or whether they will add a splash of colour in spring. 

Another day, another party, although just to mix it up, it was a birthday rather than Christmas this time, and I wasn't hosting or in anyway responsible for anything other than turning up! And just like that my youngest nephew is four, ... and my oldest is now much taller than me which is somewhat disconcerting!

This was with Matthew's side of the family. I am acutely aware that when long-term relationships breakdown or change shape it is often these other extended family relationships which are also put at risk. I am extremely grateful to everyone who has been part of ensuring that this still feels like my family too. 

On the sixth day of Christmas

I headed to Burton for my family's Christmas get together. It was the first time for a very long time, several years, we think, that all of my family (to clarify, I mean parents siblings and associated children, not extended family beyond that which is probably, realistically, never going to happen!) had been together in one place: although with my brother's wedding fast-approaching, it'll be happening twice in less than a month. 

There was lots of food and lots of noise! We also played a couple of games, including a sports quiz (not my speciality!) in which I even managed to get more than one question right, much to my surprise! And even a family photo in which I think everyone is looking in the same direction and smiling. 

Once I got back to Birmingham, a friend came round for the evening and in between plenty of good conversation, we watched Incendies which is an excellent film (though not an easy watch) 

On the seventh day of Christmas

I went to Shrewsbury for the afternoon for a long overdue catch-up with a very good friend. Greeted by a beautiful rainbow from the train window as I arrived, it was grey and overcast but the rain mostly held off, meaning we could spend the best part of the afternoon wandering around chatting until dusk drew in and we stopped for a cup of tea and a crepe. 

I was back early evening, in time to see in the new year with more good company, yet another good meal, a little bit of dancing, some very impressive and slightly mad fireworks and a glass of fizz.  

On the eighth day of Christmas

For the first time during the Christmas season, and without looking back to be sure more than likely a while before that, today was the first day which I had entirely to myself. After a lie-in and lazy start to the day my house had the most thorough clean it has had for quite some time, which sounds rather dull but it was also quite satisfying. 

I'm wary of new year's resolutions. I do understand that this, somewhat arbitrary moment of the passing of time is as good a time as any to reflect, to look back and look ahead, to set targets and dream dreams for the months ahead, but resolutions are too often, it seems to me, rooted in a sense of having to do or be more than we already are, that somehow the person we were last year isn't quite good enough for the one to come, and I'm not sure that's always helpful or healthy. With all of which proviso, my aspiration for the new year is to try and build a bit more creativity back into my life so, just in case it comes to fruition, watch this space for more poetry and paint.

On the ninth day of Christmas ...

Today was very definitely a work day: and not in the organise a fun party sort of sense. I didn't have a particularly early start but was at my computer and making a concerted effort on admin for the majority of the morning.

The weather was particularly unpleasant but I did have to brave the rain because I had arranged a meeting in the city centre. It was partly social, but it was also partly very much not as we looked through home office paperwork and I helped, as far as I could, look at next steps and offer what I could in the way of reassurance, love and support. These blurred edges and ill-defined boundaries are very much the reality of how I live my life. There are challenges to it, of course, but on balance I wouldn't have it any other way.  

In the evening, after a week off last week, we restarted our regular bible discussion. It may still be Christmas, but the routines of normal life are gradually re-establishing themselves too.

On the tenth day of Christmas ...

Today was a mixture of intense but beautiful and, well just intense, frankly. I spent several hours at one of the hotels helping people in the morning, while trying to offer support via whatsapp message to a couple of other people in difficult situations, including trying to get my head round how and why a family with a young child had been made homeless and no-one seemed to be offering any helpful solutions.

In the afternoon we took just over 30 children and adults to the REP theatre. Getting everyone there had its challenges but we made it! Apparently, it is a spectacular show: in order that as many people as possible could benefit from the REP's generosity I didn't actually get to watch, but I did have a very welcome cup of tea and delicious lemon drizzle cake before accompanying people home again. The feedback was overwhelmingly positive so definitely well worth the effort!   

My final task of the evening was to proof-read a UCAS personal statement. I have, in the past few years helped many children to find school places, but he and his sister were among the very first: they prompted the development of that part of my work at St Chad's Sanctuary, something I have subsequently taken into my role at Birch. Back then he was a shy and silent eleven year old with barely a word of English, and now he is preparing to head off to university: there is something really quite special about seeing people grow and flourish. 

On the eleventh day of Christmas

It was the second of our Birch family activity days today and although it was still cold, we were much luckier with the weather than last week meaning we could take at least partial advantage of the incredible outdoor space at the venue even if it was rather muddy in parts (although I think for some of the kids that all added to the fun!) 

The generous hospitality of the church community providing a full Christmas dinner for everyone, and being able to sit down and eat together was very special. The connection with them dates back to when I did a number of family trips from St Chad's Sanctuary to this same place several years back: and I had quite a lot of fun looking back at old photos and remembering some of those very joy-filled days.  

There is lots we can't do or change or make better for these families but looking around the hall today and watching everyone having fun, smiling, laughing, chatting, creating, playing, enjoying ... I am reminded time and time again that this too matters and makes a difference.   

On the twelfth day of Christmas

I was out of the house shortly after 8 this morning: my earliest start for a while. We had been offered a small number of tickets for a 10am showing of Little Red Riding Hood at the theatre: it felt like something of a minor miracle that I had made it to the hotel, gathered people up and we made it with time to spare. Days like yesterday with big crowds of people are a lot of fun: but sometimes it is nice to spend time with smaller groups too. 

After spending a bit of time back at the hotel doing a few more admin bits with people, it was back to the city centre for the first Stories of Hope and Home session of the year. We had been offered some money for a Christmas treat for the group and the request that came back was to go ice-skating so that was  this afternoon's adventure. Those of us out on the ice may not have been particularly highly-skilled at skating but we had a lot of fun ... and I think those watching probably had quite a lot of fun too! It was lovely to see people grow in both proficiency and confidence. Everyone went home happy (and in my case at least slightly achy!) It was an excellent way to arrive at twelfth night.

And that's not the end of it either. 

Tomorrow, I will mark Epiphany and the wisemen will arrive at my nativity scene, and on Sunday we will be celebrating Orthodox / Eritrean Christmas. 

I have recently adopted the tradition of leaving Christmas decorations up until Candlemas, because I think there is something to be said for sparkly lights through the dark days of January, but no-one needs a daily update on my life for that length of time so I'll call it a day here! 

Monday 1 January 2024

Reading List 2023

Last year, I started keeping a list of the books I had read. The list continues:  

  • No Friend but the Mountains - Behrouz Boochani
  • Birmingham: It's not Shit: Fifty things that delight about Birmingham - Jon Bounds, Jon Hickman and Danny Smith
  • Goodnight Mister Tom - Michelle Magorian
  • Under the Almond Tree - Laura McVeigh
  • The Finkler Question - Howard Jacobson
  • The Forgotten Life of Arthur Pettinger - Suzanne Fortin 
  • The Northern Monkey Survival Guide - Tim Collins
  • The Mammoth Cheese - Sheri Holman
  • Hidden Figures - Margot Lee Shetterly
  • The Time Keeper- Mitch Albom
  • Still Alice - Lisa Genova
  • French Children Don't Throw Food - Pamela Druckerman 
  • The Resurrectionist - James Bradley
  • When Hitler Stole Pink Rabbit - Judith Kerr
  • Gironimo! Riding the Very Terrible 1914 Tour of Italy - Tim Moore
  • Stand Up Ferran Burke - Steven Camden
  • Gilead - Marilynne Robinson
  • Attention All Shipping: A Journey Round the Shipping Forecast - Charlie Connelly
  • Gangsta Rap - Benjamin Zephaniah 
  • Demon Copperhead - Barbara Kingsolver
  • The Island of Missing Trees - Elif Shafak
  • Mrs Dalloway - Virginia Woolf
  • Small Things Like These - Claire Keegan
  • The Women of Troy - Pat Barker
  • The Keeper of Stories - Sally Page
  • The Last Family in England - Matt Haig
  • The Silence of the Girls - Pat Barker
  • The Possession of Mr Cave - Matt Haig
  • The Chalet School Christmas Story Book - Ruth Jolly and Adrienne Fitzpatrick (Ed)
  • Blood and Gold: A Journey of Shadows - Mara Menzies
  • Double Vision - Pat Barker

There was also some poetry but you don't (or I don't) read a whole book of that, as such, so they didn't make the list; plus there were a number of children's picture books in the mix which I haven't listed, although Michael Rosen's The Sad Book is definitely worth a mention, as is all-time favourite The Night Before Christmas which I read as a bedtime story to the children staying over on Christmas Eve, definitely as much because I wanted to as because they did! 

Having just finished the last of the ones above, yesterday I started reading On Heroes and Tombs by Ernesto Sabato, but that one is really for next year's list. 

Sunday 24 December 2023

Christmas Poems, a brief history

I am not sure yet whether there will be a new poem for Christmas 2023. There isn't yet, but if it happens in the next few days, it wouldn't be the first time I've written one before the end of the Christmas season rather than before the start. I haven't been particularly inspired to be creative recently, so there's a very good chance it might not, and although there's a little part of me that will be slightly sad if I don't come up with something, I'm also not going to beat myself up about it.

I have been writing a poem every Christmas for a long time and several pre-date this blog. If for no other reason than this is a more reliable place to keep them for my own record than my hideously disorganised documents folder on my computer / hard drive, I decided I'd put them all in a post here. Their length was, at least partially, determined by the fact that most years I shared them in Christmas cards, until the busy-ness of life and the price of stamps put paid to that tradition!

I think, despite the recent lack of inspiration, I write better poetry now than some of these early examples, but what strikes me is how the themes still resonate. The very first one I wrote, it seems, was calling for peace in Palestine. Almost 20 years on, it could have been written today. Others, similarly, address social issues which have not gone away in the intervening years. My writing has developed, global "civilisation" it seems, not so much.
 
Christmas Poem 2005 – Dreams of Peace in Bethlehem

Bethlehem, holy city, where love came down,
Once surrounded by the angel throng;
Now trapped and stifled by a concrete wall
And bullets have silenced the angelic song.
Songs of joy and peace were once so near
Now the city lives in silent fear.

But there is still a whispered song of hope
Upon this green and troubled hill,
And this is still a holy city,
Where the suffering servant suffers still.
So this Christmas spare a thought for their pain,
And pray that peace may soon come to reign.

Christmas Poem 2006 – You do it unto me

Born into homelessness and poverty,
The first things you knew were darkness and danger.
Victim of violence in an occupied territory,
Forced to grow up, an outcast and a stranger.

Where are you now, oh Christmas Christ child?
In the sanitised stable of a nativity set
Pushed to one side where the gifts are piled,
Forgotten and ignored amidst the credit card debt.

But The Christmas Christ child is still with us here on earth:
He’s here in the poor, the abused, the refugee.
Is he welcome here among us as we celebrate his birth?
For “What you do to them” he said, “you do it unto me.”

Christmas Poem 2007 – A future of hope

In a sanitized stable with a warm orange glow
Well-dressed proud parents put a baby on show.
A nativity scene with saccharine smiles
Makes it easy to hide from the real-life trials
Of that first Christmas night in the cave of a stranger
When a baby was born into darkness and danger.
And what was the message that baby came to proclaim?
A future of peace and freedom from pain.

But around the world tonight it’s like the first Christmas still
As children grow up hungry while we eat our fill.
So tonight as we celebrate a refugee’s birth.
Let’s share his message with everyone on earth.
Stand up and be counted, let our voice be heard to say
That each child deserves a future, one which starts today.
A home to be safe in, enough food and an education
And let’s make this Christmas a real celebration.

Christmas Poem 2008 – A light to the world

A flame flickers faintly in the darkness
A fragile light alive in the night
Winds of change and news of the future:
A breath, shaping this light.

I can let the wind extinguish this flame
Deny my voice and give in to doubt
Close my eyes, turn my back and be silent
And so let the flame go out.

Or I can let the wind be a challenge:
Whatever the messages it may bring
Can fan the flames of inspiration
And let my hopeful soul sing.

A breath can turn sparks to powerful flames
Can let hopes and dreams be unfurled.
Stand up, speak out and burn brightly:
I will be a light to the world.

Christmas Poem 2009 – Peace that’s an advertiser’s dream

Peace on earth was the angel’s song
And to us all goodwill
And where do we search and where do we find
This peace that’s elusive still?

Inside the golden wrapper of a chocolate bar,
Curled up by a mock-Tudor hearth.
Hidden in the pages of a holiday brochure,
Or bottled up with luxury bubble bath.

Is this what was meant by the angelic voices?
Singing for a peace that’s an advertisers dream.
Or was their vision of something deeper?
Through which a glimmer of hope might gleam.

Where is the comfort in a holiday brochure
When you’re gazing on your bombed-out house?
Not much help from chocolate or bubble bath
When you’re grieving for your children or spouse.

So what of peace in far flung places?
What of peace in war-torn lands?
What hope of a peace that’s borne of justice?
Will we reach for a stranger’s outstretched hands?

Can we talk to each other? Can resources be shared?
Can the guns be laid down and the bombing cease?
Can the whisper grow louder than the advertisers jingle?
And can our Christmas carol be a real call for peace?

Christmas Poem 2010 – Do we really want Christ in Christmas?

To put Christ back into Christmas
In the media, is an oft heard cry
They want the cute, smiley baby,
And blond-haired angels in the sky
But do they know what it is they’re wanting?
Have they thought what they’re asking for?
Who is this Christ whose Mass it is?
And what would it cost to restore?

The Christ whose return they’re requesting
I’m not sure would quite fit their bill
He wouldn’t be dressed in a respectable suit
Or tut-tut that the area’s going downhill
The Christ who’s the true Christ of Christmas
Is the one who stretches out open hands
Who welcomes the foreigner, the stranger, the poor,
With society’s outcasts he stands

He mixes with those whose lives are messy
Who don’t fit in society’s neat plan
In the midst of the unlovely, unlovable, unloved
By his life saying, “yes, with love, you can”
So let us all make the same call as they do
For Christ to return to our world
But the media might get more than they bargain for
When the true kingdom of Christ is unfurled.

And then there's all the ones since the blog started which I decided I might as well gather up here too:
https://stepsadventures.blogspot.com/2011/12/gift-of-christmas.html
https://stepsadventures.blogspot.com/2011/12/why-should-we-celebrate-christmas.html
https://stepsadventures.blogspot.com/2012/12/glimmers-of-hope.html

Monday 18 December 2023

Submission, but not submissive

This week, for the fourth Sunday of Advent, the lectionary invites us to read the story of the annunciation. Last time it came around, three years ago, I wrote a reflection. I still stand by what I wrote then, and this is, in some ways, the continuation of it.  Like all the texts we read this time of year, this is a deeply familiar one and there is probably nothing to say that has not already been said (which doesn't going to mean I'm not going to add a fair few words of my own to the conversation.)

The annunciation scene opens with the angel greeting Mary, “highly-favoured one”. I know I am not saying anything new, but I think it bears repeating that this greeting, the acknowledgment of Mary as highly-favoured, comes first. God’s blessing already exists. It is not earned. It is not consequent on her choices or actions or response. I do not believe that it would be withdrawn if Mary had said no.

And I believe this to be true for our own lives too. Whatever we are called to, and I am in no way detracting from the reality of that call, the nature of being beloved of God, of being “highly favoured” precedes and is not dependent on anything we might do in response.

And I do absolutely believe that this, the annunciation story is the story of a response, a choice: to accept or to decline the invitation, the challenge, the promise. Perhaps the God who exists out of time did already know that Mary would acquiesce, perhaps. But I don’t think that means Mary wasn’t free to make her own choice. This act of incarnation relies on Mary’s cooperation. She chose to say yes. She could have said no.

The church often focuses on the many ways in which humanity “needs” God, but perhaps speaks less about the possibility that God needs us too. But for me, the story of the annunciation, is the story of God needing, or choosing to need, humanity. The outworking of the incarnation, of God becoming present in the world in this way, is only possible with human agreement. Perhaps that too remains true today: that God can only be made incarnate in the world, again and again with the cooperation of humanity. I wonder if we shy away from this idea because deep down, however challenging we find it to get our heads round the idea of an almighty God, the idea a vulnerable one, reliant on our fragile humanity is something we struggle to get our heads round even more. And perhaps we shy away from it because deep down we are not really sure if we want to accept the responsibility that comes with it.

The other thing that I wanted to reflect on, which is perhaps in some ways related, is the image we have of Mary in this scene. I think, generally, we have a picture of a very submissive Mary, head meekly bowed as she accepts the angel’s instruction. A quick google image search would certainly suggest that’s how it has mostly been portrayed down through the ages. It is there in the lyrics of the angel Gabriel carol “Gentle Mary meekly bowed her head”, but it is not there in the biblical text.

Despite their shared root, I think there is quite a difference between submission, and being submissive. And I think that in Mary’s submission to the will of God, there is nothing that implies she is, or becomes, submissive.

I like to think instead of Mary looking straight at the angel with fire in her eyes as she accepts this mission. There aren't many artistic interpretations which show this, and I don't have the talent to draw or paint the picture in my head... but I’m not sure I believe Mary looked down at her toes. I don’t believe this was a whispered, “ok, I will,” I believe it was a much more feisty, “ok bring it on!” 

Mary doesn’t have a major starring role in the gospels, but she does have a speaking part, and she does have a voice. If we listen to that biblical voice of Mary, I think we find it is quite different to the one that has been culturally created ever since. I suspect we would do well to scrape away the layers of medieval paint and Victorian values, and to rediscover this Mary who submits but whose voice is never submissive. The Mary who dares to question God’s messenger, and who at times challenges and even defies God. The Mary who actively chooses to play her part in the incarnation story, and who does so willingly but not naively.

I wonder if we are called to this kind of submission too: a submission that is chosen, that is a shared responsibility with God and which we are allowed to approach with our heads held high. I wonder how such an invitation feels?

Saturday 9 December 2023

Staying put

Here we are in December again, ushered in with seasonally appropriate freezing temperatures and even a smattering of snow. 

Needless to say, I have as ever hardly started getting my head round Christmas yet, despite commercial Christmas having been underway for a month or more already.

I am however, reflecting with gratitude on the fact that this December, I am staying put. For both of the past two years, I have moved house in December and I am very glad not to be doing so again this year. 

It perhaps means I will have less excuse when I arrive at Christmas woefully under prepared, but nonetheless, in the midst of everything else already in the diary for the next month, I am really rather looking forward to not adding packing boxes and shifting furniture into the mix.

My gratitude is, really, about much more than just not having to face the hassle of moving again (although that is a significant plus!). It is also about having a beautiful home where I feel happy and settled. I know that having this space is an immense privilege which comes with a responsibility, and also a desire, to use it well.  

Both for me, and for others, I want my home to be a place where productivity is possible, but where there is also space to simply be. I want it to be a place of peace and refuge. I want it be a place of welcome and hospitality. I want it to be a place of friendship and love, to be a safe space which can hold both laughter and tears. 

I hope I have begun to create such a space over the past year and I am looking forward to continuing to do so in the weeks, months and years to come.

Sunday 19 November 2023

The year that was 22/23

By the time they are published, annual reports are always distinctly out of date. 

But of the many admin jobs I face, putting together the Stories of Hope and Home report is one of the better ones: going back over the events and achievements of the past year, pulling together and summarising the highlights. It is a chance to reflect and rejoice in all that has been possible: and against a backdrop of a very challenging external environment for those I work with, so much has been. A report such as this can only ever tell a tiny part of the story, so much of which can't be summed up in words, pictures or statistics, but hopefully it captures something of the joy, resilience and hope of this incredible community.   

The other related bit of the job, compiling the annual accounts for the charity commission is distinctly less enjoyable. That said, I confess to a thrill of satisfaction when the figures all added up correctly and balance across the ongoing spreadsheets, the bank statements, and the final report. 

So here it is, a celebration of Stories of Hope and Home, 2022 - 23, shared here as much for my own records in the future as for your interest! 

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1-hTM8NmP-NK1p1Ow8SVau0ZhyFM-WSpU/view?fbclid=IwAR18_16xE05X-JpvDgh1WQe_VAzaqR1UhVg9OLUilJr3ieajgpMWWEe9VOE

*            *            *

I can take far less (by which I mean none) of the credit for the writing of the Birch Annual report, and a much smaller share of the credit for the work of the organisation which I share with some incredible colleagues, all of whom are doing amazing things. But it is another organisation whose work I really believe in, of which I feel extremely privileged to be a part, and whose work also deserves to be known and shared. There are challenges to our work, but knowing that we do so alongside others who share the same commitments and values, within an organisation which trusts and supports us, most definitely helps.

https://birchnetwork.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/Birch-Network-Annual-Report-2022-23-1.pdf?fbclid=IwAR0hPtNJ97vwjX-ytv1QbEbCuvEbAQoalMvFZsbxxT_-8RZFZ8XczaqJjAg

Tuesday 14 November 2023

The gift of the ordinary

At the church I currently attend, last Sunday (actually, now, the one before because I hadn't got round to finishing this, but my point still stands) was announced as "the fourth Sunday before Advent" in the lectionary, following on from the "twenty-something after Trinity". This way of naming Sundays isn't new to me, but I was remined of it, and aside from being in denial about how quickly Christmas is approaching, I baulk at it.

I want ordinary time back, please. 

I know there are other denominations where ordinary time still exists, and others still where it never has. I also know that even in my church it is only the nomenclature which has changed, this is, really still ordinary time, still liturgically green. 

But names matter. And I believe we need the ordinary. 

Don't get me wrong, I think we need special and unique and extraordinary too. I am very much in favour of marking special occasions, of finding ways to celebrate and ways to acknowledge suffering. But not all the time. I think we should also be prepared to embrace and enjoy the ordinary. I don't think we have to pretend everything has to be anything other than, well, just, ordinary.

If we didn't know it already, surely 2020 taught us that we actually do want and need the ordinary; the dull, humdrum reality of the familiarity and normality of every day life. 

The various versions of a gratitude diary I have kept periodically have always been about reminding me to focus my gratitude and joy not on the big things, but in those little every day moments. They haven't been about trying to find or create something special to happen each day, but rather about seeking out or just recognising the positives in my everyday normality. Some days they are harder to find than others, I know, but every day holds things within it that are beautiful and precious. Ordinary things, in ordinary times are also a gift. 

In terms of the church embracing ordinary time, though, for me, it goes deeper than that too. 

I think there is great value in the church calendar witnessing to and celebrating the importance of the ordinary. For me the great beauty of the incarnation story is that it is a story of God's presence within the ordinary. That it makes real a God that is found in the every day: in human relationships and human realities, in shared meals and shared stories.

I believe in a God who is present in the ordinary. Of course God is present in the big newsworthy events too, in the high points and the low points of our individual and collective human existence. But God is also present in our every day and I fear that in squeezing out ordinary time we risk squeezing out the reminders that this too, maybe even this above all is where God belongs, where God is incarnate, where God is with us. 

And that, (though I doubt the writers of the lectionary are listening) is why I want ordinary time back, please. 

Wednesday 1 November 2023

Getting away

A couple of weeks ago I went to Dorset for a few days. By the time I got to it, it was a break that I recognised was somewhat overdue. It may have taught me a valuable lesson about building in down time before I get to that point (but it'll probably be a lesson I have to keep learning again and again, we'll see) 

I'd never been on holiday with my mum and sister before (well, obviously, I had been on family holidays as a kid but that's a bit different), but they seemed genuinely ok with me gate-crashing a trip they had planned before they knew I'd be free to join them. And it was lovely: to spend some quality time together, to share some more serious conversations but also, mostly, lots of laughter. 

The few days were also shaped around lots of other catching-up with relatives and family friends, at least some of whom I hadn't seen for a very long time. There was some re-establishing of relationships which, in the busy-ness of life had somewhat been allowed to drift. 

The best description of the holiday is that mostly, we ate lunch, at length, in good company. 

There was lots of chatting. There were many cups of teas and an excessive quantity of snacks. There were a few games and plenty of time reading a book. 

For an October minibreak in the UK, even the southernmost part of it, we were incredibly lucky with the weather. Sandwiched between rain on the way down and after we got back we had four days of beautiful sunshine.

It meant that while there was plenty of time comfortably curled up back at base it was also perfect for short walks in beautiful surroundings and even an opportunity to paddle in the sea (very briefly, it was October after all!) My holidays are usually defined by where I can get to on public transport but this time, because we travelled by car, there were no such limits, which opened up different possibilities of places to see.  

Politics was banned as a topic of conversation, and while I can't say we stuck to that completely, I definitely spent less time than usual thinking about the state of the world. 

I deliberately didn't pack my laptop. I didn't check my emails and responded to fewer messages than I usually would. 

I didn't set an alarm each morning. 

I switched off. I managed, mostly, not to feel guilty about it.

It's not how I would want to live my life permanently, but for a few days it was perfect and exactly what I needed. 

I came back to a very full inbox and a long jobs list ... but feeling rested and refreshed and ready to face them both.

Monday 23 October 2023

In The Shadow of the Trees

In June 2019, an ESOL class from St Chad's Sanctuary performed "Home", a performance that was the catalyst to the creation of Stories of Hope and Home. The interruption of a global pandemic as well as the evolution of other parts of the project meant it was July 2022 before we put on another major performance piece, "Refugee: What do you know about me?" at the REP in conjunction with Welsh National Opera. 

There was no three year wait for the next performance as we were back on stage this July. Again at the REP but this time with a mainly "in house" production. 

There was a little bit of external support with the script from Stephen Camden, the wonderful writer we worked with last year, a bit of support with the movement, and a lot of support with the tech from the incredible team at the REP, but without a doubt one of the best things about this year's performance was that it was very much the group's own creation. 

As "In the Shadow of the Trees" came together, it told the stories they wanted to tell, in the ways they wanted them told, structured around a format they wanted to use. Every idea it contained: the overarching themes and all the little details came from people within the group. Creative vision, writing and performance talent, collaboration and leadership skills emerged, sometimes in unexpected places. I was there throughout and honoured to be part of it. I held space, prompted and encouraged. I typed up scripts and turned up with requested props but overall there was very little of me in the performance, exactly as it should be. 

And it was beautiful!

There was deep joy in watching these people I care about flourish and grow. To see the confidence with which they communicated ideas and brought others along with them. To see their stories, so often sidelined, placed quite literally centre stage and treated with the respect they deserve.

Back in July, we shared the performance with hundreds of school children (and a motley collection of others) and now we can share it with you too. While it will not be the same as watching it live, we are delighted that the REP have shared the filmed performance online so we can reach an even wider audience with a performance which is, if I do say so myself, wonderful!


Thursday 12 October 2023

A Refuge is ...

The first Thursday in October is National Poetry Day. This year's theme was Refuge so obviously (with thanks to my mum who noticed and pointed it out well in advance), it was something I was keen to invite Stories of Hope and Home to explore. 

We produced a short film and wrote poetry reflecting on the question "What is Refuge?" Both were a collaborative effort between many members of the group, and we were really pleased with how they turned out. 

We shared them with local schools of sanctuary inviting them to engage in exploring the theme too, and it seems appropriate to share them here, as well. (If I'd been a bit more organised, I'd have done so on National Poetry Day. I'm not so I didn't.) 


A Refuge is – A poem by Stories of Hope and Home

A refuge is
The sound of birds singing in the summertime
And the wind blowing through the trees in the limitless hills
It is raindrops and running water
It is the kettle boiling
It is family laughing, children playing, friends chatting
And my mother’s voice
It is the bustling sounds as I sit by the river in my city
And the gentle breathing of a loved one as I sit in quiet companionship
It is the sound of music
As well as the sound of silence
I found my refuge and it sounds like an echo of myself
The song of my dreams

A refuge is
The taste of warm milk late at night and buttery porridge in the morning
And milky hot chocolate, sipped while chatting with friends
It is sweet, silky honey,
And bread, freshly baked
It is the first sip of juice as we break the fast together
It is wiggly noodles slipping over my tongue
And my mum’s home-cooked food
It is meals shared with friends
It is sea salt on my lips
And the taste of my voice as I sing this victory song
I found my refuge, and it tastes like British cake
And a cup of tea

A refuge is
The sight of a colourful garden filled with beautiful flowers
And a blanket of snow making everything white and clean and silent
It is all the greens of nature
And it is the horizon over the sea
It is the sight of a good friend’s face after a long absence
It is stepping off a train to see a familiar place
It is watching the happy ending of a movie
It is everything I see in my dreams
And then seeing my dreams coming true
It is the sight of a bright future
I have found my refuge and it looks like the first ray of sunlight
Banishing the darkness of night.

A refuge is
The smell of a garden filled with lavender beneath the evening light
And of the first rain in the autumn falling on dry ground
It is freshly prepared coffee
And my dad’s mint tea
It is the smell of a Salvadorean Christmas
It is woodsmoke and incense
And a blue scented candle
It is steam rising from pots and pans
It is delicate flowers and sweet strawberries
And a perfume that fills me with memories
I have found my refuge and it smells like my mother’s kitchen
Where I am always welcome

A refuge is
The feel of comfortable feet in my favourite walking shoes
And of fresh water splashing on bare feet with the sand between my toes
It is hot sun on my skin and wind ruffling my hair
It is a warm bubble bath
And a baby’s cheek
It is the feel of being wrapped up in a snuggly blanket on a cold winter’s night
It is my soft cosy bed
And Fresh, clean pillows under my head
It is the feel of my tummy aching from real laughter
It is the feel of freedom
I have found my refuge and it feels like the hug of a loved one
Holding me safe enough to close my eyes

I have found my refuge
It is a place where I feel I belong.